Guys go gay

When I gave him my number, I knew exactly what I was doing. Sure enough, when he arrived in town, he called. I ended up going to his hotel and we ended up getting it on. Nothing serious. After that happened, I never heard from him again.

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I think labels do more harm than good. Two years ago, another guy who was my age was put on the night shift. To pass time, we made small talk and gossiped about people in the building. One weekend around 2 or 3 in the morning, we were super bored and started talking about our hookup experiences. We ended up swapping head in a utility room.

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When summer was over, he got transferred to another building. When I was in college, I played football. Not that I was anything to talk about because I mostly sat on the bench. But there was a first-string dude that I was buddies with where things used to happen. It was never like we planned it or anything. One time, he showed up to shoot the shit — you know, like to hang out. I remember telling him my shoulder was messed up from a bad play and he offered to massage it to relax the muscle. After that, the rest is history. We ended up messing around. Over the course of a year, it happened a few times.

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The dude is married now and so am I. When I was back in high school, I dated this girl from my neighborhood. She had a brother who was the same age as me and we became friends.

He's Into Guys But Not Into Dick - Slog - The Stranger

I really only get turned on when someone does things to me—like gives me head, rims me, jerks off on me, or puts me in mild bondage and jerks me off. Obviously, this aversion to dick doesn't make my dating life too easy.

Life Inside

I do great on first dates, but once things move to the bedroom, my reluctance to give head or have anal sex is a dealbreaker for many guys, and things end there. My question is, what is up with me?

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Am I just a lazy lay who needs to gain motivation to do more in bed? Recently a friend suggested that I may be asexual, but that doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm attracted to everything there is about men, all except what's between their legs. Have you heard of queer men like this?

Dan Savage

I knew there were guys like you out there—gay men who don't like dick—which is why I told HOMO that "being a gay male correlates more strongly with liking dick than it does with liking drag. There are, for example, gay trans men out there who weren't born with dicks and didn't have bottom surgery after transitioning—but these trans gay guys are nevertheless having tons of hot gay sex with their hot gay boyfriends, husbands, hookups, FWBs, very special guest stars, bondage subs, etc. Many of the gay cis male partners of gay trans men may like dick just fine some may even love dick , WILD, but the absence of dick isn't a deal-breaker for them—and it stands to reason that some of them may actually prefer men without dicks.

Basically, WILD, your letter presumes that all gay men have penises and that's not the case.

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Have you even considered dating gay trans men? I mean Things nowadays are very different. Not only are gay bars and clubs in crisis, closing left, right, and center, but the art of hooking up has diminished. Well, the answer should be YOU; you should have the time because this historic method to hook up is way more thrilling and rewarding than a few taps on your smartphone while you lounge on your couch watching old episodes of Drag Race.

So, put down your phone and follow this advice and you, too, could take that hot guy home from the bar.

Any eager beaver in a gay bar can roam a room with their eyes, making contact with each Tom, Dick, and Harry in the place. The nervous temptation can be to seek out anyone who flings a glance your way and to try and play a game of who blinks first.